Will You Die with Your Song Unsung?

I just heard somebody say that they didn't want to die with their song unsung. I got to thinking about this, and wondered about how common this phenomenon is, how many people really go through their lives and never live their dreams...never really sing the song that is playing within. We go through our lives making our living, working long hours perhaps, putting off until "later" our dreams and our aspirations. Then we wake up some day and realize that there is no more time, that we must put up or shut up, and then we wonder just where all the time went and wish that we had lived our dreams and sung our songs all along during our life when we were busy making a living.

So...now, today, begin to sing your song; begin to live your life. Start in small ways if you must. Take a moment, look around, examine your senses, take a deep breath, see the beauty...the wonder of this incredible universe. And then do something that you really want to do. You don't know what you want to do? Make a plan for your life, write down your goals and then write down how you can achieve them. Too old you say? Never! Use the time you have, take your life and squeeze the juices out...drink deep!

I'm at the end of another semester. Tomorrow is the final, and I just recorded the grades on my grade sheets so that tomorrow all I have to do is to record the final exam grade, let the computer do all the averaging and then post them online. Then a couple of weeks between semesters to refresh my batteries. And I actually will get two days off next week, the first in a month!

An Interesting Event that Took Place on my Hand

There I was, sitting in the bright sunlight, reading my biography of Darwin at Cutter's Point. I happened to look down and noticed my hand that was exposed to the sun. On my hand were innumerable bright points of light that were going on and off. I looked closer at what appeared to be a miniature Christmas light display. Apparently in the heat of the sun, miniscule drops of perspiration were oozing out of my sweat glands and then evaporating as soon as they emerged. I wiped my hand, feeling no wetness and noticing none. The scintillating points disappeared only to gradually reappear as the perspiration emerged from the pores.
For some reason I was impressed by this. Hey, I never said I wasn't weird! :)

February 17...another year

A pretty day today, after a week with no time off. I might get next Thursday off, but none scheduled for the week after next. Another birthday today, and I wonder how long the old bod will hold out.
I saw Jes yesterday and gave her my digital Mavica CD for her to take to the coast this weekend with Craig. It is a great little camera, recording on mini-cds which are very cheap, and it takes great photos. I haven't used it that much since getting my Nikons last Spring, one for the Panama trip and another SLR soon after.

I Should Be More Tolerant

Yes, I really should...but sometimes it is so hard! Sitting here in Cutter's Point, I have been subjected to this unrelenting account by a woman who went into excruciating detail about: her family and how they are buying a new dog which is by far the best breed there is; her daughter's dealings with the Girl Scouts and the problems that the mother had with the behavior of the other girls and how their parents refused to discipline them; the buying of her new house with detailed descriptions of the walls, the floors, the kitchen and her criticisms of her neighbor's taste in houses; her accounts of meeting her old high school friends with criticisms of their life style and their clothes, and...well, you get the idea. All this wouldn't be so bad if she didn't talk in this whiney voice that you could hear all over the shop. She wasn't talking loudly, but lord god almighty it was penetrating! I tried to shut her out and tend to my business, but it was hard with her sitting right beside me. I should have moved you say? Possibly, but I was settled and wanted to finish editing some photographs and saving them to disc, and I was right in the middle of it.

Maybe I just like to complain. Come to think about it, complaining is one of my few pleasures in life. It gives me exquisite satisfaction to...oh my god, the man's cell phone is ringing with this really, really loud ring! I gotta go!

Awareness of the Now

Do you ever have times when you become intensely aware of your existence? When your senses seem to awaken, and you become aware of the breaths that you draw, the feel of the clothes on your body, the small subtle sensations, the tiny messages that your body sends you, telling you where all the parts are, your feet here, your arms there? Sounds become sharper, smells and then you think that there will come a time when all this will cease--no more breaths, no more sensations, when we all will return to...to what? Time then becomes precious. I want to squeeze each golden moment, and I regret so much time squandered through the years. But...the moment passes and life continues, this incredible existence rushes along like a locomotive through dark shifting mist, full of rushing sound and wind, hanging out the window, eyes streaming, squinting, searching the track ahead in the dim light.

It's very difficult to live life in the now; we are always thinking back to he past or forward to the future. Now takes care of itself, unappreciated and ignored. Hopefully I can learn to live more in the present.

Synchronicity and Mark Twain

I'm reading a couple of interesting books (actually I have about 11 that I am currently reading): one about Synchronicity (Synchronicity: Science, Myth, and the Trickster by Allan Combs and Mark Holland) and one is a biography of Mark Twain. This is in itself a case of synchronicity since Mark Twain wrote about incredible coincidences in his own life. The idea of synchronicity is not simply the idea of unlikely coincidences according to Jung, but it should be logically meaningful to the person experiencing it and should express some underlying pattern that is not apparent.

"Synchronicity explains "meaningful coincidences," such as a beetle flying into his room while a patient was describing a dream about a scarab. The scarab is an Egyptian symbol of rebirth, he noted [Jung]. Therefore, the propitious moment of the flying beetle indicated that the transcendental meaning of both the scarab in the dream and the insect in the room was that the patient needed to be liberated from her excessive rationalism. His notion of synchronicity is that there is an acausal principle that links events having a similar meaning by their coincidence in time rather than sequentially. He claimed that there is a synchrony between the mind and the phenomenal world of perception. "

"Let us recall that according to Jung, synchronicity is a coincidence charged with a sense (meaning) between the interior psychic state of a person and an event of the objective exterior universe." (Moisset)

Of course the occurrence of unlikely coincidences is usually attributed to the laws of probability, and since it is not testable then it certainly is not scientific. Personally I have experienced such events, and although I have had training in various sciences, I still find it hard to attribute all of these happenings to mere chance. For now however, these phemenona don't appear to be readily amenable to the scientific method although the quantum physicists Bohm and Pauli provided a theoretical framework upon which one might base these occurrences. This is a huge area of interest which I intend to pursue further.

Mark Twain has been one of my favorite authors since I was the age of six when my mother read Tom Sawyer to me. I was to set the pattern for the rest of my life with books that I l ike by reading and rereading this book until I could quote passages from it by the age of ten. In addition to his having had various synchronistic events in his life, he also once had a vivid dream about his brother's death which came true in all its particulars. His mother always said he was psychic from an early age. I used to be totally skeptical about such things until I and some members of my family experienced a few of these unusual happenings. The trouble with this field is that there have been so many credulous and superstituous people making some preposterous claims. There should be more scientific inquiry into the matter.

Fog and Moonlight

I am looking at a small leafless Japanese Maple in a large planter outside the window where I am sitting and drinking coffee. It appears to be covered in tiny sparkling jewels, shimmering drops of water from the heavy fog that shrouds everything. As I walked to my car last night, sheets of mist fell slowly, reminding me of a time long ago when I delivered papers early in the morning. Then a light mist was falling and each time a tiny droplet hit my eye, the street lights, the entire universe suddenly and briefly went out of focus. It was a momentary blurring before my vision cleared...and then the next droplet and another blurring.
The other night was a full moon and fog. The moonlight lit the fog up and made everything appear to be floating in a bright, numinous void. Black silhouettes of trees, the glowing shifting fog...and off in the distance the mournful lowing of a fog horn.
I like to take photographs in mist...like the above: "Looking Towards Manzanita."

The Narrows Bridge is Nearing Completion

Since it was a beautiful sunny day today (after the fog burned off), and since it was Sunday with less traffic on the bridge, and since the last two spans of the new Puget Sound Narrows Bridge are poised to be put in place, I thought I would walk out onto it and take some photos. I began taking photos of this new addition to the existing bridge back several years ago before the construction had actually begun and have continued ever since. This new bridge parallels the existing bridge and is being added at great expense (to be paid by tolls!) and great effort to relief the traffic that has resulted from the cancerous population growth that has occurred in the region.

The last two spans are about to be placed. Each span is about as large as an apartment building and have been brought into position under the bridge by two different ships. Specialized cranes then lift the bridge sections into position where they are bolted together to create the mile plus span that is needed to reach across the "narrows" of Puget Sound. Instead of trying to fit the last two sections into the space that is left (about 8 millimeters of clearance), the workers will pull the entire existing span to one side to allow more room to put the new sections in. Since this will be done any day now, I wanted to photograph the last two spaces with the spans hanging just below ready to be moved in.

I was shooed away by a security guard when I attempted to walk down what was once a pedestrian walk on the north side but which now has been covered with plastic and sandbags. I was told to walk a couple of hundred yards away to enter the new pedestrian walk way which was set off by a series of rubber boots on the new highway. I did this, passing past piles of equipment and earth moving machines that was stored on the new highway leading to the new bridge. Most of this highway has been completed, with the finishing touches now being applied. I walked out onto the old bridge, which I really don't like to do because the only thing separating me on the narrow walk from the traffic whizzing by four feet away is a raised curb or pipe about ten inches high. The buffeting wind from the traffic also tends to blow my hat off, and I have to always hold tight to it.

Coming back after I had taken numerous photos (I will soon put them on my website, texified.com), I was eyeing my car which was parked near the top of the old walkway above and to the side of the new highway, and was thinking that I could make a quick dash up the slope (since I didn't see the guard) and save myself a longer walk (as if I don't need it). Just when I was about to make the dash, I saw the guard's pickup approaching the top of the old walkway. He got out and began putting warning tape across the entrance. I continued nonchantly on my way to the "approved" entrance and passed a family who had driven their car past the barriers and was proceeding down to the entrance to the bridge where all the equipment was stored. "Oh," I muttered to myself, "you are going to be sahree!" Sure enough as I finally made my way back to the road and had turned back toward my car, I saw the guard hurriedly jump into his truck and speed off around the block to the entrance to confront the intruders. Meanwhile the family had parked amongst the piles of equipment stored at the north entrance to the new bridge and numerous children, dogs and grownups piled out and began cavorting about. Children runnng amongst the equipment, dogs barking and chasing them...everybody having a grand old time. I wondered how the party intended to go out onto the bridge as I had done with all the running kids and dogs. It took a while for the guard to drive around the block to the entrance, and by the time he had sped hurriedly down to the hapless family, they all were making their way to the pedestrian walk on the old bridge. I could only imagine the conversation that ensued, but I saw the apparent father of the brood tale off chasing the children with the dogs barking at his heels as I got into my car and drove off.

I'm Tired of Talking About the Weather

I mean it! I'm tired of meeting people and all they talk about is the weather. I am ready for the weather to fall once again into the realm of the ho-hum. Last Wednesday we had a big weather system come in and dump about 5-7 inches of snow. It immediately cleared and then became very cold. The ice and cold continued slowly melting until yesterday morning when another 3 inches fell on top of the existing ice. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for my driveway. It's long and steep and almost impassable when covered in ice. Fortunately my little Ford Escape with its four wheel drive makes it with little problem (until last night when I almost slid off the driveway and down the slope; also the other day when I was coming down the driveway, I began to slide and saw my neighbor's car parked at the bottom. Knowing I couldn't stop, I began to honk wildly...fortunately she pulled forward just before I hit her). It also does very well with the icy roads. In fact I would have little difficulty in getting around if it wasn't for the other drivers. Some creep along at 6 miles per hour and drive me to distraction and others blaze along throwing slush everywhere, acting as if their four wheel drives renders them immune to the laws of Physics. It seems to be finally getting above freezing now though and melting seems to have set in.
Have you noticed that it is actually a special time just after or during a snow? It is very quiet, the birds are silent and everything is covered with all this beautiful snow...sometimes all you can hear is the soundless sound of snowflakes or the plop of snow falling from a tree branch.

Musings on the first day of 2007

I'm afraid that I haven't made any New Year's resolutions. After years of breaking them, I tend to not make any, although it is a good time to turn over some new leaves. I did determine that I would go out very early this morning and take some photographs--if it wasn't cloudy and rainy, which of course it was. Up here if you wait until you have good weather before attempting anything, you may have to wait quite a while.

I DID clean up my room and begin taking down Christmas decorations, however. I have accumulated quite a number of picture frames, now it is time to begin putting photographs in them and hanging them. I think that tomorrow I shall dig out some of my old slides (Kodachrome 64) that survived the fire and see if I can scan them. They are the only remnants from my extensive collection of photographs and negatives. All the negatives were destroyed and I only have these slides from that era of my life.